For so many of us, we look for answers. I was once told not to look anymore; for sometimes there is no answer. Guess what? That is totally okay.
I think we all experience moments in our lives where we question; “Who am I? And where am I going?” We’ve often been taught if something isn’t working that we must fix it. Reassessment is a great place to start.
When your heart feels and your gut speaks to you. When all of the signs just say, “It’s time”. When you finally wake up that morning and say… “Wait, what am I doing?” “What was I thinking?” “Where am I going.” “Where did all of the time go?”
When my heart had told me it was time to move from LA to NYC, (almost three years ago now) I never in a million years thought three years could pass in a New York minute. Holy hell it did. What an incredible three years it has proven to be. Progress is a beautiful thing. But remember this much, without pain, there is no progress.
I am now learning to embrace fighting wrinkles vs. acne and making rent and covering my staff’s wages versus purchasing every pair of heels that comes into my peripheral view. As I am covering stories and working with organizations that can make a huge impact on our youth, health and nation. Becoming of use is now my number one focus in this lifetime. I started listening to what my Mother (Kumai Sensei) taught me (yes, she was and is, always right.) As I started to look into the pits of my soul, I felt. How lucky are we that we get to feel? Even if we feel pain sometimes, it is better to feel than to not. Without pain there is no progress.
Numbing away all of this pain can only lead to more anguish and despair. It is inevitable that we will all feel pain in our lifetime. It is inevitable that some individuals come into your life at just that perfect moment, while others are on their way out the door. We must find ways deep within that can help us to accept, learn and grow from the pain. Turning the pain into progress.
If you are like me, you chose to go down the road less traveled. When I came to New York, I was positive that it would be the toughest and loneliest move of my life. A challenge? Hell yes! After ending a long-term relationship, saving up some cash and making those NY contacts, I was ready. Life was just too easy in California.
Now, as I look back, as the only single girl left in my group of besties from college (I actually have been for almost 4 years now.) That is no easy feat. (Champagne problems, I know, I know.) I remembered being the 13th wheel at a night-out in SoCal one night. I felt like there was something wrong with me, because I didn’t care to find the right man or have kids just yet. I felt a bit more single than I usually did in California. But, man. I had big, no, I had huge, undeniable plans that almost turned into a calling, if you will. Most of my New York friends will confirm their friends back home are also settled and happily married with kids (or on the way!)
Who’s to say that one life is better than the other? No judgement here. By the time my parents were both 30 they had my sister and I. They did an outstanding job raising us to be very independent women. I am beyond grateful for the stellar job they did raising us with some tough-love. Well, so, my big sis is no longer Miss Independent with me (she has a boyfriend, yet, again) and thus I remain the single-girl. And I am totally cool with that. I have to put my focus on my best work now.
Hey, ain’t no shame in being young, single and fabulous. So ladies, let’s own the decisions we have made. Let’s look back at the goals and reasons why we first came to be the adored single-lady. It was from pure passion, a desire to be something different. Whether you are a designer, a sales girl, a teacher, a publicist, an aspiring actress, a photographer, an artist, (ooh- a makeup artist!), a writer or just still figuring all of that grand-stuff out. Remember, you are not alone. Re-ignite what you once planned. Stay authentic! Be a genuine soul. It’s totally ok to feel lost, lonely and pain at times. Just don’t let that get the best of you, you beautiful girl.
Remember, when you shine, you give permission for everyone else to shine with you.
I leave you with the one thing that brings me sanity in this crazy- loca-life… Mere words. My favorite poem, The Road Not Taken, by Robert Frost which was drafted back in 1916. His words still mimic what my lips would say to this very day.
Enjoy xx ck
The Road Not Taken
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.